Managing Resentment at Work and at Home
Do you feel that the emotional/physical load is unbalanced in your relationship? Do you take on more work than anyone but get passed over for promotion? Do you work twice as hard and get half the recognition? In these situations, managing resentment is an important skill to have.
Resentment is a common emotion in the workplace, in romantic relationships, and in families. It is also a difficult emotion to deal with and can be contributing to your feelings of distress
Useful Steps for Managing Resentment
- Communicate your feelings. If you feel resentful, speak up! It’s important for coworkers, spouses, and family to know what is going on with you. They will respect you more if they understand why you don’t like something. You can learn to communicate in ways that will be constructive.
- Assert yourself without being rude. Remember that people have different ways of communicating their thoughts and feelings. What might offend one person might seem normal for another person. Before giving feedback, ask yourself what you are trying to accomplish and anticipate how your communication will be received.
- Pay attention to body language and culture. People often use nonverbal communication such as eye contact or taking a deep breath when they’re uncomfortable. Your professional environment, your spouse, and your family may all have very different cultural expectations around how you communicate.
- Put things into perspective. Think about what got you here today. Be grateful for all the good things in your life and everything you’ve accomplished. Try to appreciate how far you’ve come instead of focusing on where you might feel lacking. Find little moments throughout the day that bring you joy and happiness.
